Day 2 of Writing It Out

Have you ever started something and wondered, "What happens at the end?"
That was my initial question this morning as I sat to write. As soon as that thought was out, I wanted to retrieve it. Thinking about the outcome of this daily writing takes away from the journey; takes away from all that I have in now.

I have said it on many occasions that my creativity is with words and yet, I denied myself the many opportunities to write the words I have been given. Like the question I already posed, I trapped myself in the outcome before even starting. I devalued the words before I even allowed them to flow.

Are you doing that in your life as well? Stopping before beginning? Judging the work before it is even done?

Perhaps like me, you will allow this Lenten Season to be the time you allow your creativity out the box. Perhaps you will open yourself to the Holy Spirit in a way that has you saying yes to now, not worrying about the end.

Blessings

Day 1 of Writing It Out

As I was journaling this morning, I wondered what the Holy Spirit meant when She said write everyday during Lent. Did she mean blog everyday? Did She mean write in my journal everyday? Did She mean write academically everyday? That hasn't been made clear just yet. So here I am blogging 2 days in a row.

Ash Wednesday. How am I going to get my ashes? I wanted to get them early enough in the day so I could let the world know that I am a sinner. That's why we get the ashes right? To speak boldly about our sinfulness to all that see us? When I pulled into the parking lot of the cathedral I thought, I have just enough time to get ashes. So I began with a Liturgy of the Word service that asked me to look deep into myself and admit my faults and then be strong for the journey ahead.

Strength for the journey. I CANNOT face what is before me without God. I just can't. I am facing many things that I have wanted to just go away, but God has not done that for me. So, here I am seeking strength for the journey. The mark of ashes from burnt palms on my forehead says I am committing to do my part on this journey. The ashes say that I am aware of the hard road ahead, but with Jesus, ALL things are possible.

As I commit to writing everyday, I realize that I am committing to blogging everyday. I may journal as well, but the Holy Spirit is calling me to public writing that may serve someone else. Perhaps we may enter into dialogue. Perhaps you will be moved to comment. As you read what I am writing, may you allow yourself the freedom to be in God and do what God asks. That is really what Lent is all about, disciplining ourselves in such a way that we attune ourselves to God.

Blessings.

Writing It Out

There are so many things going on in my life now that I am more frequently "down."

I am still using the word "marvelous" to describe how I'm doing with the intended hope that I will actually be marvelous. Lately, my self-created uplift is not working.

What is going on?!!

More accurately, What is not going on!?

I haven't been writing. Not here on the blog nor in my journal.

Now I have known for quite some time that I need to write it out. Anyone looking for my internal thoughts need only find them in these posts or in my journal. Once written there are no secrets. Once written, clarity appears. Once written, I am able to move forward. So, I've been "down" and couldn't understand why I was stuck until today.

Writing it OUT, will be my Lenten Journey. As I read the various reflections that I've signed up for or attend the online retreats to help me this Lent, I have decided to write everyday for Lent. To do so will require me to give up something (what I don't know since each day is yet to unfold). I will allow that sacrifice to reveal herself as I commit to writing it out each day.

Side Note: As I focused on blogging today, I didn't know what I was going to write about. This is what the Holy Spirit gave as my fingers moved across the keyboard.




Let us pray for one another as we journey inward and may we act on behalf of one another's well-being as a result of our journey.

There is Death and There is Dying

The selfish part of me mourns death--the ending of something. The Christ in me celebrates death for it is the passage to resurrection. My father died on 21 December 2016 and I can't find it in me to be sad. In dying, my father taught me accompaniment. Oh I thought I know already what it meant to accompany someone, but as my dad lay in hospice care, saying nothing, I learned how to be present on the deepest level I know --in God.

I read scripture, not to learn anything, but to open my heart to God's WORD. What an AMAZING experience. I played some of my sermons for my dad to hear and I was opened to God like never before.

This part of the journey has allowed me yet ANOTHER glimpse of God's Grace, Mercy and Love. Thank you daddy for the lesson in dying. I am indeed grateful.

"God Speak" Not "Hate Speak" —As a response to the anguish and anxiety people are experiencing post the 2016 Presidential Election

When I got to work 9 November 2016 and responded to my coworker that I was doing fine, his response was one of shock and dismay. “How can you be okay? Do you not know the results of the election?” I responded, “Oh I know the results. But for me nothing has changed. The United States has always been anti-Black and Brown bodies.” Did people really think that having a Black man as president for the last eight years erased people’s underlying hatred and bigotry? Really?! I didn’t.

So when the final 2016 Presidential Election candidates were chosen, I didn’t want to know anything about their campaigns because I was struggling to reconcile the choices. Really!!?? Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump are the candidates? I just wanted to bow out of the voting process. But I could NOT!!! Too many Black people were threatened, beaten and killed for the right to vote. I refuse to let them down, so I vote—in every election. And what happened this time? The lid was taken off the box of hatred and bigotry, and many people are frightened.

Yet, I am not frightened. The United States of America became a rich nation on the bodies of Black people. The atrocities heaped upon Black bodies since this country’s uniting leaves me, a Black woman wary. My herstory is filled with warnings, proverbs, and anecdotes that have kept me alert to hatred and bigotry just under the surface of “nice” people’s words and actions. Yet, I am not frightened. Wary, but not frightened.

Later in the day (9 November) at our faculty meeting, I listened to my colleagues lament the results of the election. After about 20 minutes I was asked why I hadn’t spoken. “Don’t YOU have something to say?” Sure I did.
“First let me register my surprise at your reactions. I had not expected this level of lament. Secondly, Why all the fear? And where is God in your outlook? What you see happening is the direct result of not enough “God Speak”. Believers in the God of Jesus Christ have been silent too long, not wanting to make others uncomfortable, fear of losing their jobs, wondering what others might say. As a result, “Hate Speak” has taken over. But all is not lost; not for believers. The time ripe for us to speak about God and God’s love for us all. We need only do it out loud now. We can no longer be private about our “God Speak”—we must come together.” I also reminded them all about the anti-Black/Brown bodies campaigns that have been waged for the last several hundred years.

God has a way of chasing out fear. In this post-2016-election time, “Hate Speak” needs to come up against “God Speak”. 

Racist words and actions are not new here in the United States of America. That brand of terrorism was nurtured in fear. God chases out fear. NOW is the time for believers in the God of Jesus Christ to witness the Gospel— the Good News. We cannot get stuck in the words and actions of evil. NOW is the time to stand and speak God—the language of love. 

What I am advocating is “God Speak”. Speaking about the goodness of God. “God Speak” is what we say when we are faced with president-elect appointments that would send us back to a Jim Crow era, and not just for Black people. “God Speak” needs to be our response. Things look bleak, but we serve a God who can overcome any injustice. We serve a God who asks that we not allow ourselves to respond with hate.

“God Speak” needs to erupt from our mouths to put “Hate Speak to bed once and for all.